BALANCE

Spiritual Training Cycle: Connection (wk. 12/13)

Colossians 3:12-17

“Roid Rage” or Trustworthy?We’ve had a visitor to our gym for a few weeks. We always have drop-ins, so a visitor is not a new thing. But this person is different than most of us who attend our gym. He is very strong and fit. But he also yells often, he stomps around before he approaches his equipment, he appears to challenge you when you make eye contact with him, and he seems mad when he’s working out. At a gym I attended years ago, they would have called him a “roid-rage meathead.” I have no reason to think he is actually on steroids, but he definitely comes across as aggressive and self-centered. Truth is, I don’t think he’s going to last at our gym very long; people don’t trust him and he’s pretty isolated when he’s working out.

Our head coach is very much a contrast to this new athlete. The one thing they have in common? – They are both very strong and fit. The yelling our coach does? Most of the time it is when he warmly greets you upon arriving at the gym.  Rather than stomping around, he walks between all of us as we work with our equipment, warmly challenging us to push harder and get the best out of ourselves.  He never seems to be in a bad mood. Both his competence as a coach and his character as a human make him trustworthy.

In the third chapter of his letter to Christians living in the city of Colossia thirty years after the resurrection of Jesus, the Apostle Paul wrote about the type of character traits that make someone trustworthy:

As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. – Colossians 3:12

What a list! The rest of this devotional – indeed the Hope Project devotionals for the next six months – could not exhaust the rich character embedded in these virtues! Let’s just focus on one right now: gentleness.

Gentleness is a Balancing ActThe ancient Greek word that is translated as “gentleness” in the quote above is also translated at times as meekness or forbearance.  The idea is not of a “gym wimp” who can’t even lift an empty barbell, but of a strong-and-fit person who holds themselves in check for the benefit of others. Three hundred years before Christ, Aristotle defined this virtue as the balance between anger and indifference. In her bestseller, Radical Candor, author Kim Scott recognized these types of people as ones who balance caring personally while challenging directly.

A Good Coach – and a Good FriendWhich brings me back to our head coach – and any good coach.  The trustworthy connection a good coach has with their athletes is based on the coach’s gentleness: they care enough to challenge while also being encouraging. And – this isn’t just what defines a good coach.  Gentleness should also define a good friend.  How do you do at it?

Questions for Reflection:

When has someone demonstrated gentleness to you?

How can you better demonstrate gentleness to people around you?

FRAGILE

Spiritual Training Cycle: Connection (wk. 11/13)

Galatians 6:1-9

Claaaannnggg. The sound rang out across the entire gym echoing off the walls. The experienced athletes cringed, waiting to see what fate awaited the rookie weightlifter. All eyes followed the coach as she graciously, yet expeditiously, made her way to the scene of the crime. The equipment in front of the athlete confirmed what she, and everyone else, suspected had happened. Anxiously, the rookie athlete watched as the coach slipped the remaining plates off the other side of the barbell and carefully set it on the ground. As she stood, she quietly, but firmly said to the wide-eyed athlete, “You don’t ever drop an empty barbell. Empty barbells are fragile.”

If you want to get your coach’s attention, drop an empty barbell. I mean, even from shin height, you’ll have a coach at your station faster than when you set a new personal best. It’s a learning process for new athletes and I get it. They see these videos of people lifting incredible loads with barbells. They see the barbell bend at the strongman competitions, yet never break. Well, almost never. They watch other athletes in the gym on deadlift day finish their final rep and feel the floor shake as their barbell drops to the ground. But what they don’t yet realize is that the barbell by itself is fragile. What seems like a simple piece of steel is quite complex. Inside the collars, or the ends of the barbell, are bearings – small balls or needles that allow the barbell to spin. When you load a barbell with weight, it’s the weight that ultimately receives the force of a drop, preserving the barbell from severe damage. Empty barbells must bear the force of the fall directly, and over time they will simply lose their effectiveness or break altogether. A barbell is strongest when it is connected to an external load. That’s where it becomes most powerful.

In life, you’re essentially an empty barbell. You’re fragile. I know we all think we’re tough and we can handle what life throws at us, but truth be told, it only takes one or two “bumps” in the road to reveal just how fragile we really are. And I don’t mean physically, I’m talking emotionally and mentally. We’re all one crisis away from breaking. Next thing you know, we’re yelling at our kids, fighting with our spouse, distracting ourselves on social media, drinking one more glass of wine, you name it. These are all coping mechanisms we turn to when life shows just how fragile we really are. While they may bring temporary relief, they don’t provide the strength or power we need to live a purposeful and fulfilling life.

The empty barbell teaches us the need to be gentle in the gym and in life. I know it may sound strange for me to suggest that in a gym full of clang and bang you need to be gentle, but you do. If you roll in like a bull in a china shop, you’re going to miss the opportunity to practice being gentle. And you need to train gentleness because it is a life skill.

Gentleness is our strength under divine direction. When we choose to let Jesus direct our strength, we learn we don’t always need to go all out, red lined and full throttle. Not only is that a direct highway to burnout, it also causes us to miss the moments when people need us the most.

Last year my son had a challenging high school football season. He was playing center for the first time, which required lots of extra practice outside of school. At first, he was excited to work with me as we did our usual 100 snaps a day. But then things began to change. His mood was a little more solemn and his enthusiasm started to wane. Being the classic Dad/Coach that I am, I pressed on and talked to him about perseverance and the work no one ever sees.

But it was me who couldn’t see. I was the bull in the china shop, and it took some encouragement from my wife to slow it down. To be gentle with my son. As God directed my strength, I realized there was a deeper issue – one filled with anxiety and insecurity. My son was the empty barbell. He didn’t need me to press. Ne needed me to pray.

Over the course of the season, we would grow so much closer as a family. Time and space would help heal the emotional anguish of my son. Gentleness has the power to change lives. Just think how much your life has changed as God has been gentle with you. Like the empty barbell, God is gentle with you because He knows you’re fragile.

Questions for Reflection:

What does being gentle look like for you?

What areas of your life need more gentleness?

STRONGER

Spiritual Training Cycle: Connection (wk. 10/13)

2 Timothy 2:22-26

In sports, it’s not uncommon to ask the question, “Who is stronger?” Who is the stronger team? Who is the stronger competitor? In other words, based on a side-by-side comparison of physical capacity, who is most likely to win?

But like the famous saying goes, “That’s why they play the game.” Because it’s not that straightforward. You can be physically dominant in every statistic and still chalk up a loss. You can put in a solid cycle of training and still not get a new PR. As athletes grow and mature in their field of sport, they understand that strength is merely one component of the journey to become stronger.

Especially when it comes to mental, emotional, and spiritual strength. These are the arenas where “brute force” is the last thing you want to do. Instead, you must build the skill of allowing God to direct your strength. This is the spiritual skill of gentleness.

Now, when you think about the qualities and characteristics of strong people, where does gentle rank? Probably not high on the list. But we all know a “gentle giant” in our lives. A person whose strength or size or power is tempered by the way they care for and interact with others. 

They can pick a dandelion. They can hold a baby. And yes, they can crush a barbell. But it’s as if they know when and how to direct their power, as well as when to restrain it.

So it is with the spiritual skill of gentleness. Jesus has incredible power. He raised the dead. He made the lame walk. He let the blind see. Yet He was gentle with His power. He allowed the Father to divinely direct His strength.

And nowhere do we need more gentleness then when it comes to conflict and disagreements. I guarantee you there are people in your life you have tension with. It could be a co-worker, a relative, a sibling, your significant other, or even your children. Live on the earth long enough and you will have conflict.

Culture wants you to believe the best way to handle it is with brute force. Maybe you post a rant to your feed to stir up the mob, so they’ll take your side and cancel the other. Maybe you go in guns blazing with a whole laundry list of why they’re wrong and you’re right. Or maybe you passively aggressively tuck it away and start plotting your revenge for later. These are the examples culture gives us. But Scripture offers us another way.

The book of 2 Timothy is a letter from the Apostle Paul to a young pastor. Timothy is facing some conflict. He’s dealing with people who muddled and confused the gospel and contorted it into what they wanted it to be. Now, I don’t know about you but that fires me up. That’s still going on today! And maybe Timothy wanted to hit them with a little cultural brute force.

But instead, Paul instructs him to be gentle. Not to get tangled up with the false teachings, but to continue lovingly instructing the false teachers. Not to prove that God is right, but to give then space to realize they are wrong.

Gentleness may not appear to be strong, but that’s why they play the game of life. People who place their strength under the divine direction of Jesus have the capacity to bring love into any conflict. And love is the essential ingredient we all need to truly be stronger.

Questions for Reflection:

What’s your experience trying to bring gentleness into conflict?

Why do you think culture wants us to use brute force instead?

How has God been gentle with you?