Hurt or Injured

Spiritual Training Cycle: Surrender (wk. 11/13)

Reading: Matthew 18:21-35

I’ll never forget my sophomore year in High School. Growing up an overweight kid, it took about three years of athletics to chisel the fat off and reveal the real me inside. I had moved from the offensive line to quarterback at the beginning of High School, and I retained my starting position moving into my sophomore year. For those who don’t know, your second year of High School is when most players become part of the Junior Varsity team. And one of the responsibilities of playing JV is running scout team for Varsity. Every week, we would line up as the opposing team, running their plays and helping our team get prepared for Friday night. One crisp Fall afternoon, I found myself flat on my back wondering if those were clouds in the sky or permanent blurry vision. Two defensive linemen, best described as large buildings, collided in the backfield with me in the middle. As I lay there in pain, coach walked over and asked one question. “Steele, are you hurt or are you injured?”

Physically speaking, being hurt and getting injured are two different things. Hurts are things you work through, like bumps and bruises or jammed knuckles and turf burns. Injuries are different. When a shoulder pops or a muscle tears, it’s no longer something you just work through. What coach really wanted to know was whether I could still go or not. In all honesty, there’s not much that whacks your self-esteem like coach “moving the huddle over” so play can continue while the trainer evaluates you. But regardless of the difference, hurts and injuries both require the same thing – healing.

Spiritually, we’ve been both hurt and injured. We’ve been hurt by someone’s cutting remarks or by being left out of the group chat, only to scroll social media later and discover the fun everyone else had. We’ve also been injured. Some of us, including me, have been injured by a deep betrayal. Others of you have injuries from your childhood, or that boss who sacrificed your career for theirs. If left untreated, all of these have the capacity to create some wounds in your soul. But the good news is you have what it takes to recover. Forgiveness is the healing you need.

Forgiveness is good for the soul.

Forgiveness is so good for the soul. Just throw that quote on your feed and let the world hear it, because the world needs it. Forgiveness is choosing how to live with the painful consequences of another’s action. Forgiveness is not an emotion, it’s an action. When we choose to forgive, we give others what God gave us. Forgiveness is freedom. It’s the freedom to stop living life offended. Too many people are living offended lives. It seems like it takes less and less to offend someone, us included. If you are on a continuous search to be offended, you will always find what you’re looking for. Even our past hurts and injuries can offend us. Just like forgiveness is an action, so is the output of forgiveness – mercy.

Mercy is not getting something you deserve. When people hurt us, what do we want? Justice. An eye for an eye if you know what I mean. And do they deserve it? Probably. But choosing to forgive means restraining our desire for justice. It doesn’t mean we have to let the same people hurt us again and again. Sometimes we need to create new boundaries to limit the exposure others have to us. What it does mean is that the battle is over. No more last word. No more I’ll show them one day. We are merciful because God is merciful to us. Find the quality life your soul craves – find forgiveness and let mercy reign in your life.

Questions for Reflection:

Who in your life most easily offends you? Who do you most easily offend?

Mercy is not getting something you deserve. Have you ever deserved something but received mercy instead?

Growing Season

Spiritual Training Cycle: Surrender (wk. 10/13)

Reading: Galatians 6:7-10

Every journey in pursuit of fitness has seasons. I know this is true, not only from personal experience, but even from the way we refer to athletes. The ones who have been around for a while aren’t just known as veterans, but seasoned veterans. It’s these seasons which signal the foundation for development. In a given month, you might have a season of discovery, where you learn new skills. In a given quarter, you’ll more than likely have a season of difficulty, finding your conditioning or strength to be insufficient for the task at hand. But when you look at your journey as a whole, you’ll see it’s really all about development. Opportunities present themselves every day for you to develop. And the fruits of your labor can best be seen during growing season.

Let’s think like a farmer for a minute. Farmers work in seasons too. There’s the season of preparation, tilling the soil and conditioning it for the upcoming work. There’s the season of planting, where seed is spread across the field finding its way into the ground and taking root. Then there’s the season of providing, where the farmer makes sure the crops are getting everything essential for their growth. And finally, there’s the season of production, the harvest if you will. This is the time when all the hard work and effort is most visible. Then after the harvest, the cycle begins all over again.

And while the harvest may yield better or worse results than expected, the farmer is never surprised about what it is they are growing. In other words, they don’t plant corn and expect cotton. What they plant is what they will produce. I come from a family of farmers, and never once did I hear either of my grandfathers talk of planting one kind of seed expecting a completely different crop. Growing season was an affirmation of their work.

Now let’s think about this in terms of forgiveness. Forgiveness is choosing how to live with the painful consequences of another’s action. Every time someone causes you pain, you have a choice in how you respond. Each of these responses is like planting seeds in your heart, and those seeds will take root and eventually produce a harvest. When we forgive, we cultivate a feeling of peace in our heart which results in a harvest of love. We forgive not because they deserve it, we forgive because God forgave us. But the opposite of forgiveness also produces an effect. When we choose not to forgive, we cultivate a feeling of bitterness in our heart which results in a harvest of anger or hostility. And like the farmer, we too should not be surprised by the harvest. So, if you don’t like what you’re growing, change what you’re planting.

The quality of your decisions determines the quality of your life.

This is applicable in every facet of our life. I tell athletes that the quality of their work determines the quality of their fitness. If they don’t like their fitness, they need to look at their work. My coaching cue was born out of this timeless truth – The quality of your decisions determines the quality of your life. If you don’t like the quality of your life, you need to look at the decisions you’re making. Don’t take that from a negative perspective, instead realize this is the journey to real fitness, both physical and spiritual. The quality of your decisions should continue to improve over the course of your life as God’s Spirit reveals new areas of opportunity along the way. Your biggest limitation is simply your willingness to embrace these changes and make them. Including learning to forgive. Don’t be surprised by who you are. Be inspired by who you can become and see the fruit of your work during the next growing season.

Questions for Reflection:

Does forgiveness ever feel unfair to you? If so, how do you deal with those feelings?

If unforgiveness leads to bitterness and hostility, why do we choose to do it?

Forgiveness

Spiritual Training Cycle: Surrender (wk. 9/13)

Reading: Luke 23:26-43

Have you ever been mad at a barbell? I mean, don’t you think you should be every now and then? Think about it, barbells exist to cause us discomfort. When we load one up for a heavy lift, we open the door for sore muscles and sore feelings. I’ve been mad at a barbell before. Many years ago, I was training with some coaches in another gym. We were working through a strength cycle of back squats and things were starting to get real. As the final sets approached, athletes began to arrive early for the next class and couldn’t resist the opportunity to watch the coaches suffer. When I stepped under the bar for my final set, I took a deep breath and began squatting. About halfway through the third rep, I realized the bar was not going back up. I was stuck in the hole. With limited experience ditching a heavy barbell, I pitched forward thinking the barbell would fly right off my back. Wrong! Instead, it awkwardly traveled down my spine one vertebrae at a time, until it rolled off my hips and headed toward another coach. The coach stopped the barbell while I laid on the ground humiliated and weak. I’ve carried my resentment and bitterness for too long. It’s time to give that barbell some forgiveness.

We conclude our spiritual training cycle this month talking about the spiritual need of forgiveness. Let me give you my definition: forgiveness is choosing how to live with the painful consequences of another’s action. Forgiveness is a choice. It’s an action, not an emotion. Did I “feel” like forgiving the barbell? No! The recurring image of me starring in my own Life Alert commercial is reason enough not to forgive. But that’s not how it’s done. Just like going to the gym is a choice, so is forgiving someone. And there are definitely days when we don’t feel like going to the gym. But we go anyway. Why? Because we know it improves our health.

Forgiveness is choosing how to live with the painful consequences of another's action.

So does forgiveness. If you want some real nourishment for the soul, try these three words – I forgive you. That’s refreshing to hear whether you’re saying it or receiving it. And let’s be honest, we all cause people pain sometimes. We all need forgiveness. My greatest spiritual growth in life has come through forgiveness because that’s what God did for me through His Son Jesus. He forgave me. All my selfishness, all my rebelliousness, all my pride, all forgiven. We understand the value of forgiveness better once we understand the value of God’s forgiveness of us.

I think at the end of this training cycle, many of you are going to feel a little lighter. For some of you, it’s time to put down the weight of anger, resentment, and bitterness. These emotions are keeping you from living your fullest life. And the truth is no matter how much pain someone caused you, choosing to channel it in an unhealthy way won’t resolve it. Forgiveness is freedom. It will never remove the memories of the pain, but it will restore your soul by freeing you from the responsibility of managing them. Others of you are going to feel lighter because it’s time to ask for forgiveness. Your social media habit or work-life imbalance or expert parenting style has been wrecking things around you for a long time. The truth is it’s not them, it's you. When done with sincerity, admitting fault and asking for forgiveness is an incredible act of humility. It may be the key to developing the closest relationships you’ve ever had.

Choosing to forgive the barbell didn’t result in any instant transformation. The memories are still there, the fear to lift heavy still comes to wrestle with me. But it doesn’t have the same impact. Forgiveness is writing a new narrative in my life. I’m not a failure just because I fail. Those people who saw me fall probably don’t remember it, and if they do, it was at least good for a #epicfail on Instagram. But most importantly, I’m free. I’m free from the weight of the past. And I’m free to live this life without anger, bitterness, or resentment. Let’s see where God takes you this month as you tap into the power of forgiveness.

Questions for Reflection:

Which is more difficult for you – To offer forgiveness or receive it? Why

Do the motives of those who offend you play a role in your willingness to forgive them?