What's Your Goal?

Reading: 1 Corinthians 9:24-27

How many of you have goals in life? I would suspect all of you reading this, at some time or another, have set a goal. As a coach, I see the highest amount of goal setting at the beginning of the year. Most people call them “resolutions,” but when you make a resolution to watch less TV or eat right or exercise more, what you’re really doing is setting a goal. In one of my early leadership classes, I learned about SMART goals. Goals must be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Reasonable, and Timely. And while that’s as true today as it was when I first heard it, an even more important part of goal setting is the “why.”

When an athlete tells me they want to lose 20 pounds, my automatic response is why. That’s not an attempt to dissuade them from their pursuit, but I want to hear about the deeper meaning behind the goal. And here’s why – All goals require sacrifice. Sacrifice is not at the top of most people’s priority list when they set goals. What we do as humans is imagine our life as if we’ve already achieved our goal. We see the new us in the mirror, we see the new corner office or six figure salary, we see the healthy marriage and amazing kids we’ve always wanted. But before any of that even has a chance of becoming a reality, you’re going to have make some significant sacrifices to get there. And your willingness to sacrifice depends on your “why.”

Let me give you an example. Take the athlete who told me they wanted to lose 20 pounds. When I asked why, it was revealed that during a recent visit to the doctor, some serious health concerns were discovered that were primarily linked to body weight. The doctor told the athlete that these health conditions could lead to possible death. When someone tells me they need to change their life because their health is at risk, I know that can be a motivating place to start. But that doesn’t mean the goal is a guaranteed lock. You still not only have to make sacrifices; you must also be willing to sustain them when it gets hard. It’s ok to look in the mirror and not be satisfied with what you see. It’s another thing to wake up every day committed to doing something about it.

When we began to apply the same principle of goals to how my wife and I communicated in our marriage, it took a huge leap forward. This works in any relationship you have, but the closer you are to the person, the better the results. When one of us has said or done something to hurt the other person’s feelings, we have the freedom to share what happened and then ask this question, “Was that your goal?” Because honestly, sometimes our goal is to hurt someone else. Especially if we feel like they’ve done something to hurt us. Other times, it’s not. When you bring your work to your living room or your dinner table, you may completely miss what’s going on around you. Scrolling your feed to engage with the digital world can leave those closest to you feeling disengaged. But was that your goal? Was that really why you said that thing or did that thing or didn’t do that thing? A spiritually fit life is one of awareness. We must become more aware of who we are and how we impact those around us. You will discover more fulfillment in life by gaining better mastery and control of your emotions and actions. The easiest way to do that is to start by asking yourself, What’s your goal?

Lifeboats

Reading: Acts 27:13-44

Today’s reading is a historical account of a story about the Apostle Paul. At one point, Paul thought he had it all figured out. He thought his purpose in life was to be fulfilled through the advancement of his beliefs. And he was willing to stop at nothing to make sure anyone who disagreed with him was moved out of the way. Then Paul had an encounter with Jesus that changed everything. In the matter of a few days, he came to realize that his life would have a much bigger purpose, but he could only begin to experience it when he turned from his anger, selfishness, and pride. Once that happened, not only did his life change, but the lives of many who came in contact with him changed as well.

Which takes us to the story. Paul has been taken prisoner and is on a ship headed to stand trial for his beliefs in Jesus. He’s headed into a storm. A hurricane. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve been near a hurricane. I spent part of my life on the Texas gulf coast where hurricanes are common, so I can relate to the severity of this storm. Paul urges those in charge not to set sail, but his request is denied, and the ship sets off, taking the entire crew into danger. Not long after, the ship and its crew meet the edge of the hurricane and things get really intense.

Because storms are scary. Even with the biggest computers and best forecasters today, it’s still difficult to predict the size and scope of a storm. Storms cause our fear and anxiety to take over. Think about this in your own life. It’s easy to see what to do when someone else loses their job. It’s easy to tell them not to worry, that something better will come along. But what about when it’s you? What about when your job ends, or your relationship tanks, or you get injured, or everyone on social media starts attacking you? If you’re like me, you might be tempted to do what the crew in the story did – jump in a lifeboat.

A lifeboat sounds so good, doesn’t it? It’s a way of escape. A chance to feel free from whatever difficulty is currently in front of you. We all have lifeboats, our own little escapes from reality. As we paddle away from the chaos of life, we might find momentary comfort in shopping or scrolling or binging or drinking or complaining, but the truth is, your lifeboat isn’t really taking you anywhere. And the more you try to control life by your own efforts the less you acknowledge who’s really in control. The truth is God is in control of your storms. He didn’t cause them, but He’s allowing them to create an environment for you to trust Him even more.

Paul convinces the crew to get back in the boat, to face the storm head on. He encourages them that the God to whom he belongs will lead them safely to shore. It won’t be easy, but it will be far better than the fate that awaits them in the lifeboat. What if the storms in our lives are really opportunities to trust God? It’s not about trying to do it on your own or finding comfort in distractions. It’s about letting go of our lifeboats and letting God navigate our lives.

Habits Eat Willpower for Breakfast

Reading: Matthew 16:21-28

In Spiritual Fitness, as in all other aspects of human life, habits are everything. Habits are the things that you do on a consistent basis. When I say habit, some of you are already categorizing them, trying to separate good habits from bad habits. Maybe you recall someone telling you not to smoke while they lit a cigarette declaring, “It’s a bad habit.” 

When I say habits, I’m talking about the bigger picture. I’m referring to everything that you do on a consistent basis. Your work is a habit. Your Netflix binging is a habit. Your daily scroll through your feed is a habit. Think of habits less like the good or bad things you should or shouldn’t be doing and more like the rituals, or practices of your life. That’s how the ancient spiritual practitioners described what we call habits.

The daily rituals of your life are the number one driver in how you got to be who you are. For those who struggle with food, like I do, it’s easy to see the results of our rituals. In the many times in my life where I have weighed more than I wanted, it wasn’t difficult to see that my ritual of over-indulgence in food, to placate my anxiety or lack of self-worth, resulted in a body that wasn’t reflective of what I wanted. Do you think that at some point, or many points along the way, I looked in the mirror and was disappointed with what I saw? Absolutely. There’s this old school way of thinking that professes all we need to do to change ourselves is use willpower. In other words, if I don’t like who I am in the mirror, I simply “will myself” to change. Apparently, humans have this incredible ability to simply decide something new about themselves, and their whole world realigns itself to match this new thinking. News flash – A new decision is not a new destination. The pathway to a more purposeful and fulfilling life is not to prioritize your “self,” but to prioritize your “soul.”

Spiritual Fitness is the development and consistent practice of habits or rituals that prioritize the soul. It’s learning to arrange your days so that you are experiencing deep contentment, joy, and confidence in your everyday life with God. I encourage you to spend 15 minutes today writing down the habits, or rituals of your life. Literally go through seven days and account for all 24 hours in each day. Yes, that includes sleep, because honestly most of us don’t experience deep contentment because we think that six hours of sleep is sufficient. It’s not. Once you have the week mapped out, I want you to use a simple principle to evaluate it – where do you feel a lack of contentment, joy, or confidence in your everyday life with God? Let me ask it another way – where do you feel rushed or hurried? Hurry is the enemy of a spiritually healthy life. It’s your job to identify and eliminate hurry. The arrangement of your days must reflect a rhythm of life that places God at the center. When you realize Instagram doesn’t bring you deep contentment with God, you don’t decide to scroll less. You replace that habit with a new one, like prayer, meditation, or gratitude reflection. Life change, or transformation, is simply a result of replacing old habits with new ones. Arrange your days so that you are experiencing deep contentment, joy and confidence in your everyday life with God, and you will experience life like you never have before.