A Way Back

Spiritual Training Cycle: Submission (wk. 7/13)

Luke 15:11-32

My family takes a particular sense of pride in being a “hiking family.” Every vacation, influenced by our social media feeds or favorite YouTube explorers, leads us to tour a city and hike its trails. We have our boots, canteens (not hiking poles, because we are real hikers), and of course, our summit sandwiches for when we reach the top at noonday.

On one particular hike through Taos, New Mexico, what seemed like a simple 5-mile trail humbled us quickly. We faced a steep 1,300 ft elevation gain on an 8,000 ft mountain. Our sandwiches were pleading to be eaten before the sun wasted them away.

Our saving grace was the numerous switchbacks on the trail. If you aren’t familiar, switchbacks are zig-zagging paths along the side of steep terrain. Think of the brim of a hat, but slowly trailing up. The alternative would be to cut straight up the mountain, like climbing the steep stairs of a football stadium bleachers.

Forgiveness is a lot like switchbacks. While switchbacks make for a longer trail, they lead to an easier hike. Similarly, forgiveness can seem like an impossible climb, but taking the longer, more deliberate path is always best for starting the process. Forgiveness manifests in many ways. It can be something we extend or deny to others. It can be how we receive it. And it also includes the forgiveness we have for ourselves. Each can feel like a long, winding trail.

Jesus paints a beautiful picture of this concept through the parable of the Prodigal Son. The story offers a perspective on how God sees and rescues us based on our decisions and His forgiveness, which is an expression of His heart for us. In the story, one son seeks forgiveness after realizing his wrongs, while the other expects forgiveness for his good deeds.

The father in the story shatters both false perceptions. The younger son needn’t have worried about losing his father's love. The older son never needed to earn his father's love. By telling this parable, Jesus addresses both the sinner who knows they are far from God and the self-righteous who think they are close to God. In God’s eyes, neither is more deserving of forgiveness. There's no amount of wrong that can out-sin God's grace, and no amount of good that can make you more accepting of it.

In both instances, we attempt to cut straight up the mountain, relying on our own strength to reach the top. Sometimes, the path we choose involves painful, self-inflicted decisions that cut us off from relationships or leave lasting consequences. Other times, we focus on seemingly good things, like our careers, spiritual devotion, or fitness achievement, believing these things can earn our forgiveness for the good we do.

Apart from God, we criticize ourselves to feel a false sense of honor, hold on to every bit of shame that our actions cause, or we dish out the same hurt that was done to us by repeating a toxic cycle. When we accept the forgiveness of God, He brings us into His doors. He sets a table for us. He reminds us of our identity as his beloved children. We start the process of healing.

True forgiveness can only come from God. It's consistent, trustworthy, and merciful. Real forgiveness is like the Father in the parable who sees his son from a far distance and collides into him with arms wide open eager to see him back home again. Rather than dealing with the damage we have caused (or fell victim too) alone, we can now settle the debt that we owe in light of knowing God's forgiveness that paid it for us.

For many, taking this path will take a long time to accept. Rather than going the long way, we will attempt to make our own path forward. Before we have made our decision, be reminded of the love of God that is waiting for you to come home. Searching for you. Waiting past the front yard in anticipation of your arrival. When it might seem that we are far from God, He is ever drawing closer to us. His forgiveness is the invitation to come home.

Questions for Reflection:

Why do some things take longer to forgive than others?

What are some “short cuts” people use to try and earn forgiveness?

Stuck

Spiritual Training Cycle: Submission (wk. 6/13)

Ephesians 4:20-32

“Forgive and Forget” is a phrase people often use. You’ve probably said it yourself as well. But how accurate is that statement? And do you really mean it when you say it?  Sure, we can forgive, and the Bible teaches and tells us how to forgive one another. Forgetting the offense, the hurt, the lies, the betrayal, the anger I’d argue that’s harder than the act of forgiving.

We’ve all experienced pain and betrayal at some point in our lives; some self-inflicted and some beyond our control. In the moment the angst, anger, confusion, or guilt creates a giant pit in your stomach and your heart. It can physically make us sick, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually it just feels gross. But sometimes in a weird way it feels good to wallow, to carry all of those toxic emotions even if we know it’s not healthy. The problem with choosing to hold onto the offense and bitterness of not forgiving yourself or someone else is it keeps you stuck where you are. The other person has already moved on; they have no idea, nor do they care that you’re sitting there stewing in a puddle of emotions. You only hurt yourself by choosing the path of unforgiveness.

I have experienced the toxic emotions, the wallowing and the choosing to stay stuck where I was this year at The Fittest Experience, a local CrossFit competition. I was competing as a Masters athlete and was in second place going into the second day of competition. I had three workouts ahead of me, one which I knew beforehand would not be my strongest event. This event led straight into the third and final event of the day. I stepped out on the floor, gave it my all, failed a lot of handstand push-ups, watched my competition blast past me and it took everything I had to not cry during the workout. Mentally I was in a bad place. And that’s not like me at all. The third workout following this event was one I could have and should have crushed. It had all of my favorite movements and skills I am proficient at. But my mind was stuck in the previous workout. My emotions of anger, regret, bitterness, self-loathing, not being able to forgive myself, forget what just happened and move on caused me to struggle both mentally and physically. I wanted to cry and quit. I hated that I felt that way and I hated that I had let myself get to that place emotionally. I couldn’t shake it no matter how hard I tried.

Those feelings and emotions are not our identity and it’s not how we are called to live. Once we have stepped into a relationship with Jesus we, “lay down our old selves and are renewed in the spirit of our minds; in the likeness of God” (Ephesians 4:22-24). We are to choose the path of forgiveness: forgiving ourselves and forgiving others so we can move forward.

The final day going into the competition I had an hour drive to focus my thoughts for the day. I knew I didn’t want to compete with the same bad attitude from the previous day. I spent the entire hour praying, thanking God for a healthy, strong body and the opportunity to compete. I listened to praise and worship music and just gave it over to Him. And you know what? I didn’t win. I ended up 4th place, but I had fun. I was joyful, I had motivation and energy like I’ve never had before. It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Ephesians 4:31-32 encourages us to,

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”

Forgiveness is an expression of the heart of God. Forgiveness is a blessing that none of us deserve yet God extends to each one of us without fail, over and over through his love and mercy for us. What an honor and a joy it is to step into that and receive it. It’s not always easy and it takes a lot of hard work, prayer, and time. But once you’ve both received and extended the act of forgiveness to someone else it’s like a refreshing soul-cleanse allowing us to be kind and compassionate to others in a way that’s honoring the heart of God.

Questions for Reflection:

Have you found yourself stuck holding onto bitterness or resentment instead of choosing to forgive?

Is it harder for you to forgive yourself or others? Why?

Timing

Spiritual Training Cycle: Submission (wk. 5/13)

Romans 8:18-27

Have you ever run out of patience? You know, like a car runs out of gas, your patience just totally hits empty? I bet whatever caused you to lose your patience was frustrating. Maybe it was some annoying, repetitive thing that finally made you lose it. Maybe it was something you were hell-bent on controlling but you ended up losing all control instead. There’s a secret to not running out of patience, and if you learn how to use this secret, you’ll find yourself with a new level of cool. The secret to unlimited patience is timing.

Timing is everything. One or two sessions of Olympic weightlifting are all you need to know just how critical timing really is. When we rush it, we miss it. Not just the lift in the gym but also your patience in life. The reason you run out of patience is because you get your timing wrong. When you learn how to adjust your timing, life slows down and you find all the patience you need. Here’s exactly how to get your timing right. Start by reversing your productivity.

Sure, everyone loves to be productive, including me. But if you have a calendar that’s bursting at the seams or a to-do list that’s a mile long, your desire for productivity is going to throw off your timing. It will. And when that new thing at work gets dropped in your lap or your kid’s karate lesson runs long or the check-out line at the grocery is backed up, you’re at risk to lose it altogether. Reverse your productivity by building margin into your life.

Think of margin as white space for your life. It’s the extra area where nothing is happening – on purpose. Yes, on purpose. Patient people get that way by organizing their lives so they have extra time in their day. Extra time in their travel. Extra time at the office. It’s the same amount of time you have, only organized differently. Reverse your productivity by creating margin in your life and there you’ll find more patience.

Reverse your productivity by creating margin in your life and there you’ll find more patience.

The easiest way to find margin is to admit you need help. And for me, there’s no one better at helping me find margin than God. God is in the margin business. Think of all the space He’s created for you! Even in the beginning when God was creating everything, He found margin. He created to space to enjoy all he had created. And He’s the true Timekeeper in life.

God’s Spirit wants to help you. All you have to do is ask. Allow the Holy Spirit to be your spiritual fitness coach. Let Him reverse your priorities. In His power you’ll find the capacity you need to create margin so you can experience true peace and joy in life. And a big dose of patience as well. The secret to patience is not your timing. It’s God’s timing.

Questions for Reflection:

What situations deplete your patience?

Do you feel like you have margin in your life?

What does a life organized around God’s timing look like?