Spiritual Training Cycle: Connection (wk. 12/13)
“Roid Rage” or Trustworthy?We’ve had a visitor to our gym for a few weeks. We always have drop-ins, so a visitor is not a new thing. But this person is different than most of us who attend our gym. He is very strong and fit. But he also yells often, he stomps around before he approaches his equipment, he appears to challenge you when you make eye contact with him, and he seems mad when he’s working out. At a gym I attended years ago, they would have called him a “roid-rage meathead.” I have no reason to think he is actually on steroids, but he definitely comes across as aggressive and self-centered. Truth is, I don’t think he’s going to last at our gym very long; people don’t trust him and he’s pretty isolated when he’s working out.
Our head coach is very much a contrast to this new athlete. The one thing they have in common? – They are both very strong and fit. The yelling our coach does? Most of the time it is when he warmly greets you upon arriving at the gym. Rather than stomping around, he walks between all of us as we work with our equipment, warmly challenging us to push harder and get the best out of ourselves. He never seems to be in a bad mood. Both his competence as a coach and his character as a human make him trustworthy.
In the third chapter of his letter to Christians living in the city of Colossia thirty years after the resurrection of Jesus, the Apostle Paul wrote about the type of character traits that make someone trustworthy:
As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. – Colossians 3:12
What a list! The rest of this devotional – indeed the Hope Project devotionals for the next six months – could not exhaust the rich character embedded in these virtues! Let’s just focus on one right now: gentleness.
Gentleness is a Balancing ActThe ancient Greek word that is translated as “gentleness” in the quote above is also translated at times as meekness or forbearance. The idea is not of a “gym wimp” who can’t even lift an empty barbell, but of a strong-and-fit person who holds themselves in check for the benefit of others. Three hundred years before Christ, Aristotle defined this virtue as the balance between anger and indifference. In her bestseller, Radical Candor, author Kim Scott recognized these types of people as ones who balance caring personally while challenging directly.
A Good Coach – and a Good FriendWhich brings me back to our head coach – and any good coach. The trustworthy connection a good coach has with their athletes is based on the coach’s gentleness: they care enough to challenge while also being encouraging. And – this isn’t just what defines a good coach. Gentleness should also define a good friend. How do you do at it?
Questions for Reflection:
When has someone demonstrated gentleness to you?
How can you better demonstrate gentleness to people around you?
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